Catholic Writer's Award

Erica at Saint Affairs nominated this blog for a Catholic Writer's Award, and I am thrilled to be part of the loop of Catholic writers giving this lovely shout-out to Catholic blogs they enjoy reading!

Erica discovered my blog through a comment I left on her site, because as it turns out, I really enjoy reading her posts too. She is a spunky homeschooling mom of three boys spanning in age from five to seventeen, and her writing often combines the funny with the serious in a memorable way.

My favourite post by Erica is her candid and beautiful take on the lessons she has learned from her grandmother. That post really impressed me because of Erica's positive view of her grandmother, who raised Erica as a child and yet was a difficult person who struggled with depression. Many people would completely turn away from someone who had given them so many negative messages in their life, but Erica rose above all that. With true Christian love, she went out and tried to make lemonade out of lemons, turning their relationship into a positive one. That's a lesson in the strength of the human spirit, as well as living life well and without regrets.

SO now it's my turn to hand out a couple of Catholic Writer's Awards. Drumroll...and the Awards go to...

• One Man's Hope for a Better World. I may be biased (since I married the man) but I believe that my husband's blog is awesome, and I love that we are bloggers together. It makes blogging so much more fun! You should see our home setup. We have our computer workstations right next to each other, and blogging together is almost like going on a date. Sometimes we give each other ideas, and we often read each other's posts as editors before posting. Here is one of my favourite posts by hubby:  Elementary schools are failing our boys.
  
• Kelly's blog This Ain't The Lyceum, which is laugh-out loud hilarious, it has got to be one of the funniest Catholic homeschooling blogs out there. She tackles serious topics with honesty and a good dose of humility, and I always learn something true and real even as I keep chuckling. The post that originally roped me in was Learn From My Preschool Mistakes; A Letter To Myself. I love Kelly's outrage about things like sexy Halloween costumes being marketed to small kids, and I admire her strength as mom of five, including a child with Spinal Muscular Atrophy. Also check out her very useful post on How To Stop Hating Facebook.
  
• Jenny's blog Mama Needs Coffee. Jenny is the mom of three young children and her life is a lot like mine - crazy and busy, filled with diapers, tantrums and tears, as well as butterfly kisses, firsts of all kinds, and the sweet love of tiny people. She manages to do incredible things despite this busy life as mom, like travel to Rome for the canonization of Pope Saint John Pail II, and she also squeezes in time to do valuable work for a Catholic news site. Her posts vary from hilarious to serious, and she always manages to speak to me because we share a lot of everyday life realities.
  
• Lynda's blog Flowers for Francis. This is a relatively new blog by a homeschooling mom of two boys who is a former wildlife biologist, and many of the posts really captivate me. It is written with depth and reflection, and makes me feel like we are kindred souls examining and experiencing the joys, sorrows, beauties and surprises of life. Her latest post has got to be one of my favourites, as it brought alive for me the Bible Belt (where I have never been), and made me wish I could visit the South this very weekend! My all-time favourite though is her beautiful and heart-wrenching post Epilogue: Their Cross Was Heavier.

THIS AWARD HAS NO STRINGS ATTACHED

NO RULES,

NO OBLIGATIONS

A SIMPLE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF GREAT CATHOLIC WRITING WHICH BRINGS JOY, TRUTH, FREEDOM OR  ENCOURAGEMENT TO OTHERS

IT CAN BE SOMEONE WHO WRITES ABOUT

PRAYER

THEIR STRUGGLES AND PAIN. BRINGING HOPE TO OTHERS

LIFE IN GOD

FAITH STORIES THAT MAKE YOU LAUGH

PASS THIS AWARD ON TO A FELLOW CATHOLIC WRITER OR TWO

POST THE RECIPIENT’S NAME AND BLOG IF APPLICABLE, AWARD TITLE, LOGO WITH A SIMPLE LINK BACK TO   http://melaniejeanjuneau.wordpress.com/ 

A Victory for Dandelions in Ottawa

A traffic circle in our neighbourhood.

Ottawa has been conquered by dandelions. They are everywhere by the millions, making our local grassy areas resemble farmer’s fields of mustard plants. I can imagine worse fates than to surrender to a sea of bright yellow flowers, but it does make me ponder the way that social certainties come and go, with the latest truths always being the most right and often imposed by government decrees.

Even a decade ago, people could have been reported to the City for having lawns that looked like this traffic circle. Neighbours could have complained that the dandelions were being spread onto their property. The City probably wouldn't have done anything to the owner of such a lawn, but social stigma would have been certain for this spreader of lawn care's biggest enemy.

The prevailing view back then was that dandelions were an unsightly blight upon the plain green carpets of our front lawns, football fields, parks and other green spaces, and all means were fair game in the war on the golden flower. That was a time when one could travel from one end of the City to the other and hardly see a cluster of dandelions on City property.

Today, the other extreme has come to roost; there is hardly any grass anywhere, especially on City property. With the pesticide ban of 2009, the City of Ottawa seems to have given up and resigned itself to a dandelion infestation.

Many property owners are not yet on board with that new outlook. It's amusing to walk through the neighbourhood and watch the poor home owners (ourselves included) pulling out dandelions from their lawns, even as the city properties right next to them are thick with yellow flowers and white seed-heads. How in the world can home owners win that battle?

We probably aren't supposed to win the battle. The new ideology is in town, and dandelions are no longer Enemy No. 1. Instead, it's the chemicals used to control them that must be eliminated. Just goes to show, our certainties do indeed flip on a dime. Just as the healthy foods of one era are often viewed as unhealthy a decade later, the views we have on other matters also fluctuate and even flip completely over time.

If we recognized this more often, perhaps our public policies would be less dogmatic than they tend to be. A dose of humility about our present opinions would do us only good.

Photo: Vladimir Sevcik, All Rights Reserved. For permission to use, please contact me.

Robert George, Prophet of Our Times

If you wonder where the times are headed, look at what people are afraid to talk about. A few years ago, people would avoid certain topics out of a sense of decorum and politeness. Today, there is already a much more viceral fear. Our opinions may still be officially protected by the freedom of speech but our sixth sense has already picked up the real conditions in our society, where certain topics no longer permit any deviations of opinion without drastic consequences.

Today, we censure our own speech on certain topics out of a valid fear of losing our jobs and job prospects, a valid fear of ending our career advancement opportunities and official recognition, out of a valid fear of being banished from our social circles, out of valid a fear of ending friendships and ripping apart our extended families.

That's why Princeton Professor Robert George was exactly right in his speech at the National Catholic Prayer Breakfast last Tuesday. The full text of his speech is well worth it, but here are some excerpts:

The days of socially acceptable Christianity are over. The days of comfortable Catholicism are past. It is no longer easy to be a faithful Christian, a good Catholic, an authentic witness to the truths of the Gospel. A price is demanded and must be paid. There are costs of discipleship—heavy costs, costs that are burdensome and painful to bear. 

...Powerful forces and currents in our society press us to be ashamed of the Gospel—ashamed of the good, ashamed of our faith’s teachings on the sanctity of human life in all stages and conditions, ashamed of our faith’s teachings on marriage as the conjugal union of husband and wife. These forces insist that the Church’s teachings are out of date, retrograde, insensitive, uncompassionate, illiberal, bigoted—even hateful. These currents bring pressure on all of us—and on young Catholics in particular—to yield to this insistence. They threaten us with consequences if we refuse to call what is good evil, and what is evil good. They command us to conform our thinking to their orthodoxy, or else say nothing at all. 

...Do you hold that the precious child in the womb, as a creature made in the very image  nd likeness of God, deserves respect and protection? Then, powerful people and institutions say, you are a misogynist—a hater of women, someone who poses a threat to people’s privacy, an enemy of women’s “reproductive freedom.” You ought to be ashamed! 

...Do you understand marriage as the uniquely comprehensive type of bond—comprehensive in that it unites spouses in a bodily way and not merely at the level of hearts and minds—that is oriented to and would naturally be fulfilled by their conceiving and rearing children together? Then these same forces say you are a homophobe, a bigot, someone who doesn’t believe in equality. You even represent a threat to people’s safety. You ought to be ashamed! 

...To be a witness to the Gospel today is to make oneself a marked man or woman. It is to expose oneself to scorn and reproach. To unashamedly proclaim the Gospel in its fullness is to place in jeopardy one’s security, one’s personal aspirations and ambitions, the peace and tranquility one enjoys, one’s standing in polite society. One may in consequence of one’s public witness be discriminated against and denied educational opportunities and the prestigious credentials they may offer; one may lose valuable opportunities for employment and professional advancement; one may be excluded from worldly recognition and honors of various sorts; one’s witness may even cost one treasured friendships. It may produce familial discord and even alienation from family members. Yes, there are costs of discipleship—heavy costs. 

...There was a time, not long ago, when things were quite different....Biblical and natural law beliefs about morality were culturally normative; they were not challenges to cultural norms. But those days are gone. What was once normative is now regarded as heretical—the moral and cultural equivalent of treason. And so, here we are. 

Aside from exposing the full truth of our times, Robert George did another brilliant thing in his speech: he tied the turn of times to the Gospel account of Jesus's crucifixion, and explained how in Biblical terms we are now at Good Friday. What a perfect symbolism of where we find ourselves today!

You see, for us, as for our faithful Evangelical friends, it is now Good Friday. ...The love affair with Jesus and his Gospel and his Church is over. Elite sectors of the cultures of Europe and North America no longer welcome his message. “Away with him,” they shout. “Give us Barabbas!”  ...Oh, things were easy on Palm Sunday. Standing with Jesus and His truths was the in thing to do. Everybody was shouting “Hosanna.” But now it’s Friday, and the days of acceptable Christianity are over. The days of comfortable Catholicism are past. Jesus is before Pilate. The crowds are shouting “crucify him.” The Lord is being led to Calvary. Jesus is being nailed to the cross. 

This speech by Robert George is historic, and hopefully it will one day be remembered as perhaps the clearest public warning by a highly-placed public figure, so clearly elucidating the way things are, and the way they are about to become. It presents important questions to all those Christians who hold fast to the truths about human life and marriage:

Will we muster the strength, the courage, the faith to be like Mary the Mother of Jesus, and like John, the apostle whom Jesus loved, and stand faithfully at the foot of the cross? Or will we, like all the other disciples, flee in terror? Fearing to place in jeopardy the wealth we have piled up, the businesses we have built, the professional and social standing we have earned, the security and tranquility we enjoy, the opportunities for worldly advancement we cherish, the connections we have cultivated, the relationships we treasure, will we silently acquiesce to the destruction of innocent human lives or the demolition of marriage? Will we seek to “fit in,” to be accepted, to live comfortably in the new Babylon? If so, our silence will speak. Its words will be the words of Peter, warming himself by the fire: “Jesus the Nazorean? I tell you, I do not know the man.” 

...The question of faith and fidelity that is put to us today is not in the form it was put to Peter—“surely you are you this man’s disciple”—it is, rather, do you stand for the sanctity of human life and the dignity of marriage as the union of husband and wife? 

...To be an authentic witness to the Gospel is to proclaim these truths among the rest. ... And it is these integral dimensions of the Gospel that powerful cultural forces and currents today demand that we deny or suppress. 

...If we deny truths of the Gospel, we really are like Peter, avowing that “I do not know the man.” If we go silent about them, we really are like the other apostles, fleeing in fear. But when we proclaim the truths of the Gospel, we really do stand at the foot of the cross with Mary the Mother of Jesus and John the disciple whom Jesus loved. We show by our faithfulness that we are not ashamed of the Gospel. We prove that we are truly Jesus’s disciples, willing to take up his cross and follow him—even to Calvary. 

...Yes, for us Catholics and all who seek to be faithful, it’s Good Friday. We are no longer acceptable. We can no longer be comfortable. It is for us a time of trial, a time of testing by adversity. But lest we fail the test, as perhaps many will do, let us remember that Easter is coming. Jesus will vanquish sin and death. We will experience fear, just as the apostles did—that is inevitable. Like Jesus himself in Gethsemane, we would prefer not to drink this cup. We would much rather be acceptable Christians, comfortable Catholics. But our trust in him, our hope in his resurrection, our faith in the sovereignty of his heavenly Father can conquer fear. By the grace of Almighty God, Easter is indeed coming. Do not be ashamed of the Gospel. Never be ashamed of the Gospel.  

George also beautifully responds to the argument that Christians are on the "wrong side of history." In essence, he responds that history is an impersonal force that does not judge or take sides; instead, it is God who judges and what is important is to be on the right side of truth.

...history does not have sides. It is an impersonal and contingent sequence of events...Nor is history, or future generations, a judge invested with god-like powers to decide, much less dictate, who was right and who was wrong. The idea of a “judgment of history” is secularism’s vain, meaningless, hopeless, and pathetic attempt to devise a substitute for what the great Abrahamic traditions of faith know is the final judgment of Almighty God. History is not God. God is God. History is not our judge. God is our judge. 

One day we will give an account of all we have done and failed to do. Let no one suppose that we will make this accounting to some impersonal sequence of events possessing no more power to judge than a golden calf or a carved and painted totem pole. It is before God—the God of truth, the Lord of history—that we will stand. And as we tremble in His presence it will be no use for any of us to claim that we did everything in our power to put ourselves on “the right side of history.”  One thing alone will matter: Was I a faithful witness to the Gospel? Did I do everything in my power to place myself on the side of truth?

I love this whole speech by Robert George. Something like this SO needed to be said. We can no longer pretend that things are comfortable. They are not. In past years, it was easy not to notice that things were getting worse even as a few were already being affected. That reality used to be only for those few activists protesting at abortion clinics or distributing strongly-worded pamphlets. 

Today, it is hard not to notice that we are all starting to be affected, just for believing certain things (without even acting on our beliefs). Today, we really have to stick our heads in the sand to think that the times are still with us. Today, we are being mightily pushed to turn away from the truths we believe, in order to remain socially acceptable. 

Today, people already DO lose their jobs because they believe that marriage should remain between a man and a woman. Today, lawyers already ARE denied admittance to the bar because they believe that marriage should remain between a man and a woman. Today, Christians already are considered by many to be the new racists, with all the consequences that follow.

But this is probably not surprising to you. I do believe that most people sense the signs of our times, at least on an intuitive level. We are social creatures and our social radars are very finely tuned. We know where the tide is turning, and many people are already jumping ship and joining the new bandwagon. It's part of our natural sense of self-preservation. Not everyone can be a hero, right? Especially when the price gets too high.

We could benefit today from a new attitude. Among Christians, there is starting to be an understanding of being like the "first Christians" in a secular Rome. The first Christians were persecuted and many of them died as martyrs. But there is yet another way to see our role in today's world. Practising Christians are also increasingly becoming very much like the political dissidents in the Communist regimes of the Cold War. 

In fact, I believe that our ultimate fate will be far more like that of dissidents than like that of the first Christians. Unlike the first Christians, we will not be martyred by being crucified upside down on a cross or torn from limb to limb - actual corporal punishment will not be our fate. 

Instead, like the political dissidents of oppresive regimes, we will simply be marginalized out of civilized society, and this is already starting to happen. More and more frequently, we will be passed over for jobs and promotions, we will be excluded from social circles and from professional opportunities and recognitions. A very few of us might end up in jail, but the majority will just be silently reduced to social and professional zeros.  

If the history of Communism is any indication of how things will work here, then even our children might one day have to disassociate themselves from our views, or they may simply be penalized without any chance to explain themselves, for the unacceptable opinions of their parents.

In Communist regimes (where the people were just like us), most people were not prepared to be heroes. They would have preferred to be free, and most were probably not on-board with the Communist manifesto. But they were silent. They paid a huge price for silence - they acquiesced to being oppressed by the government, to losing their freedoms and many opportunities. But for most people, being oppressed as a group was still better than being singled out for special oppression as an individual. There were few dissidents.

Here's the kicker: the truth may not come to light in our lifetimes. How many of us are prepared for a lifetime in the margins, a life without worldly success and recognition, the life of social outcasts where most consider us the equivalent of racists? 

Robert George is right. The days of comfortable Christianity are definitely over.

Photo: Grant MacDonald via photopin cc

7 Takes on Culture and Morality

With unlimited time, I would write a separate post about every one of these interesting articles/topics. But in an imperfect world where time is still restricted to two dozen hours per day, a shortlist will have to do:

(1) Porn Fuels Rape

A new organization has sprung up right here in Ottawa, and the name says it all. This message could not be more desperately needed today, and I hope their reach will be far and wide. I love the courage of the two young men who have started this group. Here's one of their awesome presentations:

(2) A mother's emotional take on why every human life is worth living, despite genetic flaws

A mother with a rare genetic bone disorder discusses how her thoughts have evolved to oppose Pre-Implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD). Her first daughter was conceived naturally and inherited the condition, which causes bones to fracture easily and causes a lot of pain and suffering. The author then tried PGD for a subsequent child, but was unsuccessful. Two more children followed, conceived naturally and born without the condition. The author writes from a secular perspective about how her experiences have led her to view PGD as a negative thing. She writes beautifully and ends with this testament which, while focused on her daughter, speaks to the value of each human life:

Here is the paradox that I live with: I am in awe of this child—her groundedness, wisdom, and grace. ...But if I could take her pain away, I would, her groundedness, wisdom, and grace be damned. Why was I so desperate to avoid having a child just like me? Because even if wisdom and empathy are forged in the crucible of pain, I am intimately acquainted with the crucible’s agonizing heat, and no parent would wish such a thing on her child.

And I understand that is impossible—despite the promises of today’s reproductive and genetic technologies—to hand-pick our children’s inheritance, ensuring that they get only our thick hair or talent for math or optimism, and not our anxiety or dyslexia or propensity toward substance abuse. Our children’s inheritance is a massive, many-tentacled thing that cannot be contained or predicted by even the most sophisticated technologies.

I can never be grateful that my daughter inherited my brittle bones, even as I understand how the pressures of living with our disorder have shaped her in beautiful ways. But I am grateful for who she is. And I am also grateful that parents don’t get absolute control over our children’s inheritance, that we don’t get to pick and choose what they get from us, With my anxieties so focused on what sort of bones my child would have, with my vision so limited, I could never have predicted, much less devised, the wounded and gracious person my daughter has become.

(3) American government wants to scour the internet for hate speech

Now that the Canadian Internet is no longer under siege from Richard Warman, the individual who took it upon himself to bring almost all the "hate speech" accusations under the now defunct hate speech law, it looks like Warman might do well to pack his suitcases for the United States, where the government is apparently getting very interested in scouring the Internet for advocacy of hate crimes "based on gender, race, religion, ethnicity, or sexual orientation". As the United States descends into tighter government control, it looks like Canada will soon be the surprising new beacon of free speech in North America.

(4) Religion does good for society, even for atheists

Interesting article, I have read stuff like this before but it's always good to be reminded again: religion in society is good for everyone!

(5) Adopted woman comes to terms with the lukewarm response of her newly found biological parents

What I took from this woman's moving account of her search for her biological parents is her ending: "I will always be a chosen baby. But I am armed with the truth that I began in the womb of a young girl who still loves the same young boy she made a mistake with... From one family I was given breath, but from the other I was given life."

I found it incredibly interesting that even though her biological parents refused contact with her, the author found peace in the fact that her biological mother and father still love each other and are a family. It seems that somehow, this made her feel like she too was loved as a part of that biological family.

The whole narrative made me think about the plight of those high-tech children whose biological origins have been intentionally and irretrievably denied them. Children of anonymous sperm donors and egg donors whose DNA was cobbled together over the internet, whose biological parents have never met nor care for each other or for their offspring.

While the author of this narrative received a 5-page letter from her biological parents, a letter which told her many details about their families and allowed her to have some kind of closure despite their refusal of further contact, the children of anonymous gamete donors get nothing at all. And unlike adopted children, whose agony everyone understands, the children of gamete donors are supposed not to care about their biological origins. Their grief is taboo, because the only suffering that is allowed is the pain of the infertile - for which they were the cure.  

(6) Study shows that people who try to be politically correct are snobs

I find this study rather funny, yet strangely persuasive based on my own personal experiences. It's a reply of sorts, I suppose, to the studies which apparently claimed that conservative people are more fearful than liberals.  

(7) Heaven Is for Real, the movie

I haven't seen this movie but it looks interesting and is doing very well in the box office. It's the true story of a four-year-old, Colton Burpo, who nearly died from a burst appendix and had an incredible near-death experience that seems convincing and inspiring. Here's the trailer:

This post is part of the 7 Quick Takes series hosted by Jennifer Fuller's Conversion Diary. 
 

The Facebook Culture of "Like"

I open up Facebook and scroll through my updates. The usual assortment of fluff, happy announcements and informational clips predominates - someone posts a photo of what they ate for supper (25 Likes), another person posts a funny video clip (18 Likes), a birth announcement (300 Likes), a post about the coordinated outfits someone's children wore that day (40 Likes), a new job announcement (159 Likes), a link to a news article (5 Likes) and so on.

Among these lighter servings, some serious comments: a young mother of two has just been told she has a malignant tumor, and asks for prayers (68 Likes), and a woman is asking for prayers that her husband will attend a couples weekend, as their marriage is about to dissolve and he is no longer interested in working things out (90 Likes). Finally, a death announcement (35 Likes).

I stare at these serious comments for a long time. These are cries of deep human anguish and grief, shared in brief snippets by strangers in my Facebook groups, and I wonder how to respond. Clicking "Like" on comments like these seems very odd. Yes, I understand - since there is no other button, it has come to mean something akin to "I hear you" or "have read this" or "I sympathize". But that is only on Facebook. In the real world, the word "Like" continues to mean "to take pleasure in", and that is still my gut understanding of the word "Like".

It is strange when someone expresses deep personal sorrow and that comment is followed by "Likes", as if the readers were indicating that they had enjoyed the whole spectacle. Which makes me wonder, why isn't there another button on Facebook, something to indicate "I'm so sorry", "I will pray for you," "I send you my condolences, my sympathy", "I feel bad for you," or "I understand", or any other of the myriad of human emotions? And why isn't there a neutral button, something to say "I have read this comment" without having to say I liked it too? And in fact, it would be great to have a button for "I read this but don't like it" - that is, something like "thumbs down."

But no, there is just one button, the Like button. Facebook is built around the "Like" button, and I wonder how much that says about us as a culture, and how much it is shaping us as a culture.

Nearly everyone is on Facebook these days, and what that means is that is everyone is engaged in electronically marketing themselves, in creating their personal "brand" - the image of themselves and of their lives that they want to portray to the world.

It has gotten quite shameless, really. Airbrushed magazine-quality photos of individuals, as well as idyllic family photos (vacations and more), are not at all unusual. It all goes to build the image. I used to think these photos demonstrated vanity, but now I also suspect another motive - the desire to be "Liked." Portraying happiness is a way of attracting people to ourselves.

Aside from personal lives, the topics and interests that we post about also go towards building our brand. And it is here that I wonder: could the "Like" button be making us less truthful, less genuine, less candid? Could it be making us more afraid of speaking up and risking controversy, because our brand may be less "Liked"?

Being conventional is safe. Fitting into the middle is safe. Speaking up about light topics is safe. But rocking the boat and speaking up against convention could well reduce the "Like" count, not to mention a bunch of permanent negative comments tacked on, all serving to tarnish the personal brand.

Given that so many teenagers are now using Facebook, I can see how the focus on "Likes" would only serve to enhance the teenage drive towards conformity. Teenagers are a hugely peer-oriented crowd to begin with, very concerned with what their peer group thinks of them. With popularity as the driving force, the counting and comparing of numbers of friends and likes is surely a widespread phenomenon.

But Facebook is making even adults a lot like teenagers these days. We have never been so openly quantified before, so transparent to our friends and foes in terms of our social networks and circles of influence. It can make us nervous. And competitive. And less than honest in our portrayal of our lives and interests. And finally, I believe it can also make us more conformist, because that is where popularity is to be found - in the mellow middle.

If that is true, it's not good news for our democracy, because the more concerned we are with our popularity, the more non-confrontational and sheeplike we become, and the more easily our rights and freedoms can be curtailed and even taken away.


(Final note: the situations mentioned at the start are based on real posts that have been in my Facebook updates, but not all on the same day, and the number of Likes these comments received is fictional, as I do not have the final counts).

Photo: angermann via photopin cc

Another Step Towards a Brave New World? Quebec Funds IVF for Gay Men

This post has been reprinted on MercatorNet.

There is a minor storm presently raging in Quebec, where the provincial government triggered outrage when it came to light that it is funding the test-tube manufacture of children for homosexual couples. Celebrity Joël Legendre and his partner outed the government by announcing on Facebook that they are expecting twin girls via the in vitro fertilization of a surrogate mother, all on the dime of Quebec taxpayers.

There is protest, but it will blow over. Why am I so certain that nothing will come of the hullabaloo? Because Mr. Legendre is right to cry discrimination. The Quebec provincial government is already covering IVF for infertile heterosexual couples, single women and lesbian couples, and if these other groups are all invited to the taxpayer-funded babymaking party, then it is plain snobbery to exclude gay men.

In fact, most of the moral issues raised by IVF and surrogacy for gay couples were already brushed aside by our society before the present debate in Quebec ever started. The fact that children need a mother and a father? Swept away with same-sex marriage. The idea that children should know and be raised by their own biological parents? Gone with the wind, as infertile heterosexual couples have assumed the right to use donor sperm and eggs to make that long-desired child.

True, there is a step forward (off the moral cliff) in the Quebec situation: the use of surrogacy, which comes with a new list of ethical concerns. Among other things, surrogate women become indentured servants for nine months as they lend or rent out not just their bodies but their entire lives (pregnancy affects everything). While some women do this voluntarily out of a misguided sense of charity, many do so out of financial need, especially in countries like India, where wealthy Westerners like to shop for cheap wombs. How different is surrogacy from prostitution, the other main way that women sell their bodies?

To keep abortion legal, we now allow prenatal slavery too

In the end, nothing can shock us anymore and all is permitted, for a simple reason: we can’t give unborn children human rights or moral standing, because that would endanger abortion, and so potentially restrict our selfish lifestyles. Any violation of human rights is worth the price, it seems, of preserving our sexual freedoms.

So rather than restricting the use of reproductive technologies we are going in the opposite direction, permitting more and more ethically egregious procedures. First we brought murder into the womb, and now we have brought something else as well: modern-day slavery.

What else can we call it, when unborn children are treated as entitlements, as the property of adults that can be bought and sold and custom-made to order? Benevolent it may be, as we treat our "chosen children" exceedingly well, but it is nonetheless true that until the day they are born (at least), we consider them our possessions to do with as we please, including their disposal if we deem it most convenient.

The many faces of prenatal slavery

Reproductive technologies have become a multi-billion-dollar industry worldwide (worth 3 billion dollars in the U.S. alone), a mostly unregulated Wild West where money is king. Make no mistake: the fertility industry is not at the edge of the precipice. It is already in a freefall, picking up speed as it nosedives into a moral morass. Let’s take a quick look at what is happening:

Children are already being born with up to five “parents”. These include the two genetic parents, often chosen online on websites where dating meets eugenics, where egg and sperm donors are marketed in terms of height, eye, hair and skin color, level of education, professional degrees, sports accomplishments, and even hobbies and interests. The most desirable DNA commands the highest price. In many countries, including Canada and the United States, these DNA donors can stay anonymous, so the children never have a chance to know more about their biological parents.

Then there is the surrogate, now commonly rented in cheaper locales where healthy but poor women abound. Before implantation, the embryos are often screened for genetic flaws (and possibly gender) and only the most desirable are used. Afterwards, babies can be “selectively reduced” (aborted) when there are multiples in the womb. The whole pregnancy then continues to be subject to the whims of the commissioning party, who can command an abortion if they have changed their minds about having the baby.

Eventually the final “product” is delivered to one or two “intended” or “social” parents - the persons who have put up the money, thus decreeing that the child should call them mom and dad although they may be biological strangers. What’s more, even in countries where anonymous donors have been banned, no law compels the social parents to disclose to their children that they were conceived using donor gametes or surrogacy. Studies have shown that across countries, more than 90% of parents choose not to tell, so that most children conceived in this way don’t even realize that their social parents are not their biological parents.

Does anyone care about the children?

So much for the human rights of the children. The entire process is about the desires of adults. The fertility industry has convinced the infertile that having a baby is their new human right, and the emotional hype of the debate is such that anyone who disagrees is either cruel or downright bigoted.

Oh, and that includes the children. In an ironic twist, a real biological relationship with their parents is not supposed to matter to these children, even as the adults often spend tens of thousands of dollars to have at least some biological connection to their hi-tech children. The children are supposed to stay happy with having been “wanted”, “chosen” and “loved.” They are expected to be grateful to their social parents for having created them in the first place. After all, they wouldn’t be walking around if it wasn’t for the whole convoluted process of their high-tech manufacture. It’s hard to turn down the gift of life.

But donor-conceived children are not quite as grateful as the industry would like. They are now speaking out in the media and starting websites like Anonymous Us and Searching for My Sperm Donor Father, where they share their stories of “genesalogical bewilderment”; that is, confusion about their own identity, stemming from their lack of information about their genetic origins. They often advocate for legal limits and restrictions on assisted reproduction.

Here in Canada, no luck in that regard. In May last year, the Supreme Court refused to intervene in a decision by the British Columbia Court of Appeal, which found there is no constitutional right to know the identity of one’s parents. The case had been brought by Olivia Pratten, a young journalist conceived by donor sperm who argued that donor-conceived children suffer substantial hardship as a result of donor anonymity and should have the same access to the identity of their biological parents as adopted children. The Supreme Court of British Columbia had agreed with her and struck down sections of B.C.’s Adoption Act, but the decision was overturned on appeal, then cemented by the Supreme Court’s snub.

Where is our culture headed?

So far the message by our courts and government has been loud and clear: the rights of unborn children cannot possibly be allowed to interfere with adult desires. And ever since same-sex marriage was legalized in 2005, it has only added fuel to this notion, as now there is a popular civil rights element to the use of these technologies. Same-sex marriage goes hand-in-hand with assisted reproduction. Having said yes to one, it follows that we will say yes to the other.

Back to Quebec, and to the present outrage being voiced in the media. While I agree with the protests, they are a bunch of hot air unless heterosexual infertile couples can live by the same rules. And that seems doubtful - we would prefer to have no rules at all, rather than restrict our ability to make children in any way we please.

It all makes me remember that old Story of Creation. Did we think that we were smarter than Eve in the Garden of Eden? Our great temptations today revolve around the unborn child. Having possession of technology that allows us dominion over life in the womb, we seem unable to stop ourselves from exploiting it. We should know better than to eat from that forbidden tree. But we keep biting the apple just the same, eyes shut and fingers crossed.

Photo: moyix via photopin cc

Rest in Peace, Joanne McGarry

This past Sunday, on the feast of the Divine Mercy, Joanne McGarry passed away in Toronto, ending her battle with pancreatic cancer. She was 61 years old and these days, I consider that "still young".

Joanne was married and the mother of three grown children. She had a long career in print media and media relations, and in her later years, she was the Executive Director of the Catholic Civil Rights League.  (To see her photo, click here - I don't have rights to reprint).

A few years back, we had met at conferences, eaten together and had coffee. In person she seemed rather quiet and reserved, despite her years of public relations - she was kind of like me. Underneath the gentle exterior, she was passionate about promoting the worth and dignity of human life, and she was courageous enough to withstand the arrows aimed at the Catholic Church.  

After I stopped working, we kept in touch over Facebook and just last month, we communicated briefly over email about matters regarding the CCRL - clearly, she was working until the end. She didn't mention any personal matters, not even the fact that she was in the last stages of fighting cancer. I didn't know.

Had I known last month, I wish I could have said some kind words to her, some words of encouragement, comfort and gratitude. She probably had no idea just how much I valued her work or appreciated her as a person.

Why is it that we wait until after death to celebrate a person's life? It's really all upside down. We should get together before the funeral. We should speak up before the funeral. Before the person has passed away, they should have the solace and joy of knowing how much they have meant to us.

Joanne McGarry was the same age as my mother, and perhaps that is why I am thinking especially of my own mother, whom I want to appreciate and recognize ever more for all that she has done for us in her hard life. I want to make sure that my mother understands that I love her and that I am grateful for all her toil and all her sacrifices.

There have been times, even in my adult life, when I have given my mother a very hard time and brought her to the point of tears. I hope that she has forgiven me for those times. The truth is that my mother is an inspiring example of strength for me. She still works so hard, and my mission now is just to keep our relationship good and to bring her as much happiness as I can, especially though her grandchildren, whom she dearly loves.

Life is so short. I know that when I pass away, there will soon be hundreds of unread emails in my in-box. My to-do list will be nowhere near accomplished, and those great projects I've been planning will remain forever undone. But all of that will not matter at all, and even I wouldn't miss all those unfinished tasks, which are really more of a burden than a pleasure in some ways.

Since we can't possibly accomplish everything we want in life, we need to focus on what truly matters and put our energies there. As St. Alphonsus de Liguori makes clear in his Preparation for Death, the greatest treasure we have been given here on Earth is time, which so many people fritter away in silly ways.

It is hard to use our time well. There are innumerable distractions, a never-ending parade of things that seem important in the moment but are insignificant and forgotten soon afterwards.

Whenever we need help to evaluate what matters in the long term, nothing is better than thinking about our own death. We don't need to get depressed over it and snorkel in a pool of self-pity. We can use it to snap ourselves into focus.

Think about your concerns and pursuits from the perspective of your final hours. Death, the great certainty, should not be an afterthought; it should be our guide to living life.

In the words of St. Alphonsus de Liguori:

"My brother, if you wish to live well, spend the remaining days of life with death before your eyes."

Based on the work that Joanne McGarry carried out for the Church here in Canada, and seeing how she stayed active at the helm of the CCRL until the very end, I can see that she did just that.

Rest In Peace, Joanne McGarry, dedicated defender of the Church and fighter for the most important goods in life: for freedoms, for truth, and for justice.

May you receive your eternal reward now in the arms of God, where you will surely be welcomed not only by His Divine Mercy, but also by those two wonderful popes, St. John XXIII and St. John Paul the Great.

Photo: Sidereal via photopin cc