A Victory for Victoria's Secret?

For a shocking photo of how bad it can get, click here.
I couldn't post that photo because I don't have rights to it.
This photo is from the Creative Commons online.

Look out stroller moms, our weekday hunting grounds are about to get a lot more racy. Victoria's Secret has come to town. A massive store will open at the Rideau Centre in May, taking up a whopping 10,000 square feet of second-floor retail space. One floor down, Victoria’s Secret will be opening PINK, which is specifically targeted at teenage and even pre-teen girls. These two stores have also just moved into Bayshore Shopping Centre, where my wee tots and I often spend our rainy, freezing or scorching Ottawa days.

Yes, Bayshore and the Rideau Centre have existing lingerie stores, and it has not been easy to keep my children’s eyes away from the couple of store fronts that feature oversized provocative posters of nearly-nude women. But Victoria’s Secret and PINK are about to challenge the G-rating of our malls at a whole new level.

For one thing, there will now be twice as many lingerie stores, and the new ones are huge, with a lot of window space. Then there is the more aggressive advertising that comes with Victoria’s Secret. But most disturbing is PINK: the blatant retailing of lingerie to young girls.

Just last year, PINK caused an uproar when it launched a line of sexy underwear for teen and pre-teen girls, printed with phrases such as “feeling lucky”, “I dare you”, “let’s make out” and “call me.” Are these the kinds of products we want our daughters to wear? At a time when young girls are under growing pressure to be sexy, we are only upping the ante by introducing stores like PINK into our malls.

In 2012 the CBC exposed the alarming consequences of growing up in our “porn culture” in a disturbing documentary entitled “Sext Up Kids”. According to that program, “as girls hit puberty, they start seeing themselves as objects of someone else's needs and desires.” Teen girls are not only getting more promiscuous, they are increasingly acting like porn stars on Youtube videos and “sexting” photos of themselves to boys - pictures that eerily evoke Victoria’s Secret lingerie models. The results: negative outcomes in “mental health, depression, self-esteem.”

The marketing of stores like Victoria’s Secret and PINK affects everyone. For men and boys, many of whom are already under the influence of online pornography, it is public confirmation that women are eye-candy - objects of pleasure in shiny wrappers, performers for men’s sexual entertainment. In the Rideau Centre, only steps away from Parliament Hill, the irony of our cultural schizophrenia could not be more stark. Female MPs surely walk through this mall together with male colleagues; watch the men try to carry on a conversation while dodging the stare of gigantic women in lacy bras.

This is the 21st century, and we teach our daughters that they can become anything from prime ministers and CEOs to soldiers and fire fighters. At the same time, our culture is training them from an early age to think of themselves as objects for men's sexual pleasure. Even young children like my two daughters and son are being indoctrinated with these lessons as we walk past X-rated displays on our way to the toy store, the pet store or the food court.

If we are truly concerned about what is happening to our young people, then why are we welcoming soft-core pornography into our public spaces? Perhaps many of us want to be progressive, and protesting would tarnish our hipster image. Or have we just gotten numb to the imagery - doesn’t anything shock us anymore? Have we resigned to the fact that our daughters will eventually start reducing themselves to their bodies, and that teenage hangout spots will market provocative underwear? Some parents might even encourage their girls to get sexy, maybe as a way to be popular rather than invisible.

Whatever reason we have for letting our malls slide into soft porn, it is a serious mistake. There is clear evidence that oversexualization is harming our young people, and the damage will continue even if we ignore it. I don’t expect to see street riots against Victoria’s Secret and PINK (it would be nice), but I do wonder what makes us so complacent. The time to stomp out this spreading fire in our malls is now.


Photo Credit: Ambernectar 13 via photopin cc

Dressing Our Little Boys in Skulls

What is up with the skulls on boys' clothing? They seem to be on just about everything, and I am sick of it! My son doesn't like pirates, and I don't either. I don't even get that theme - there is nothing positive about pirates, so why are we encouraging our boys to like them and emulate them?

This past December I was looking for a sweater for Jonah, and found a nice knit sweater at Loblaws. The back looked perfect for church, but turning it over I was shocked at the huge black skull and crossbones emblazoned across the front. Do parents actually want their four-year-olds to wear that in public?

In fact, last season Loblaws was going quite wild with the skull and crossbones theme, it was on almost every article of their toddler boy clothing. And Loblaws is far from alone in this freaky obsession with skulls. I've seen it in almost every big store (check out this, this, this, this and this). Skulls have surprised me on the most innocuous and otherwise decent articles of clothing. Just this week, my mom bought some nice socks for Jonah as a present. After he had put them on, we found small skulls integrated into the design.

Enough already! Throughout history, pirates have been thieves and often killers. What is so great about that? Johnny Depp might have glamorized piracy in the Pirates of the Caribbean series (thanks, Disney) but even there I fail to see good role models, and just look at the real world: for instance, the piracy that is rampant off the West Coast of Africa, where "Many attacks end up with crew members injured or killed." Why are we encouraging our boys to think of pirates as heroes? It's like trying to convince them that they should aspire to becoming criminals.

Many attacks end up with crew members injured or killed. - See more at: http://www.un.org/africarenewal/magazine/december-2013/piracy-west-africa#sthash.yCUjpXcW.dpuf

Many attacks end up with crew members injured or killed. - See more at: http://www.un.org/africarenewal/magazine/december-2013/piracy-west-africa#sthash.yCUjpXcW.dpuf Is

What's more, skulls symbolize more than just piracy; they also stand for death. When you think about it, skulls and crossbones are a very morbid image. They make me think of that phrase, "Culture of Death." Seeing skulls on children's clothing really does seem like some twisted celebration of death. It is so wildly inappropriate for everyday children's clothing that is gives me chills.

Skulls are the worst of it. My second pet peeve on boy clothing is ugly monsters, which are also very popular. Do other little boys really want to wear this stuff? I know that mine does not, he finds these images just as unpleasant as I do.

What a contrast with girl clothing! You sure won't find skulls and crossbones on clothing for little girls (though you will find a lot to be disturbed about in the freakish Monster High doll and toy line). When I shop for my girls, all I can see is glitter everywhere, and images of flowers, hearts, pretty girls, kittens, and other cutsey stuff. I don't believe in social conditioning of genders, but if it were true that boys and girls can be brainwashed to act in certain gender-scripted ways, then our clothing would sure be doing a good job of reinforcing the stereotypes.

If my magic wand could fix it all, I would poof all skulls back to Halloween. Boy clothes would have a lot more variety, including Thomas the Train pictures of many of the other engines (why is it always Thomas?). And of course, stores would never be sold out of size 4.

Photo Credit: antitezo via photopin cc

How We Homeschool: Handwriting

Photo credit: Lea Singh, All Rights Reserved.
For permission to use, please contact me.

Did I mention that I love Jolly Phonics?

And yet, nothing is perfect in this world, and Jolly Phonics does fall short in the area of handwriting. It tries to teach handwriting alongside phonics, but the handwriting component is really just an afterthought it seems, mainly presented as a way of enhancing the learning of the phonics sounds. As such, it lacks a method to the madness, and I was not impressed with the rather haphazard wriggles that I saw children producing on the promotional/instructional part of the Jolly Phonics DVD.

So I searched for another program that was specifically aimed at handwriting. I wanted something focused on teaching the correct way to form letters and to develop nice, not just legible, penmanship. In the end I settled on Handwriting Without Tears (HWT).

In general I am very pleased with HWT. I liked it initially because it is a multi-sensory approach. Children first form capital letters with wood pieces, then they use a special small slate to write the letters with chalk using a method called "wet, dry, try" (this helps to teach the correct order of operations in writing letters, as well as the proper starting spot for each letter, and helps eliminate reversals).  Finally children write letters in their workbooks - which are very well designed, and eventually practice writing words. There is also a musical component - the program offers a CD of mostly catchy tunes that emphasize the various aspects of handwriting.

We are using Letters and Numbers for Me. I did get the Teacher's Guide but see in retrospect that it was not really necessary, though it is nice to have and I referred to it many times especially at the outset. Now that I know what I am doing, I use it less.

For Hannah, handwriting is probably her favourite assignment, she considers it easy. She has always had very good fine motor control. When I tried doing the multi-sensory aspects of HWT (wood pieces, slate, even the music), she got bored quickly - she just wanted to go straight to the workbook and finish her assignment. So eventually I abandoned all the multi-sensory stuff because Hannah doesn't seem to need it.

Lately though, I've been going back to the wood pieces and slate with Jonah. He still struggles with controlling his pencil on the page, and the earlier steps of HWT are actually helping him quite a bit (and I'm trying to get some of that Montessori metal inset work in there as well). So now I am seeing more of the benefits of the multi-sensory approach, and I am thankful that I chose this program rather than another approach that was solely workbook-based.

Finally, I continue to be happy with the neatness and overall appearance of the HWT print font, but I do question whether we will transition to another program for cursive writing. I don't like the HWT cursive style very much because it doesn't seem slanted enough, and I would prefer something that looks more classic.

How We Homeschool: Phonics

Last September I published a post about why Montessori homeschooling didn't work for our family. Writing that post marked the official end of my attempts at reproducing the Montessori experience at home. It was cathartic, and I went on to explore other methods of homeschooling in the hopes that I would find something that jibed better with our family.

And I think I have found it, at least for now. I have a formula that seems to be working, so I wanted to share it with you. Like many homeschooling families, I have discovered that a mixture of approaches/curriculums works better for us than trying to do it all strictly with a single approach. And the big surprise for me is that along the way I have re-discovered Montessori and its proper place in our family's education.

As it turns out, I didn't have to throw out the baby with the bathwater after all. We are back to using some Montessori materials as a way of augmenting our total educational experience, but we are no longer focused just on Montessori materials. Also, we are very much trying to live out the Montessori philosophy (promoting the child's independence, following their interests, enabling the older children to teach the younger ones) in how we do our education, regardless of what actual texts we are using.

In the next series of blog posts, I'll cover by subject area what works for us at the moment, starting today with phonics.

I love Jolly Phonics. Better yet, my children love it! Interestingly, it is very compatible with Montessori because it is such a multi-sensorial approach to learning language (in fact, in the later instruction on grammar, they knowingly use the Montessori colors for parts of speech, so there is some clear interplay with Montessori here).

Jolly Phonics teaches the main sounds of the English language and later also teaches their alternate spellings. Every sound has an action associated with it; for example, the sound for "d" will have you pretending to "drum" with your two index fingers. The actions are always introduced with a fun story, and each sound also comes with a special song which reinforces the action (on a CD). Thus, phonics takes on a kinesthetic aspect - children can jump around and act out each sound as part of their learning. The Finger Phonics books also have a tactile component where the children can "feel" the sound on the page - kinda a weak version of the sandpaper letters.

Before Jolly Phonics, when I was trying to follow the Montessori teacher manuals from Montessori Research and Development, I felt totally overwhelmed and "stuck" when it came to phonics instruction - the amount of "stuff" that was needed to teach phonics the Montessori way (and the amount of materials I would have to create) just seemed far too demanding, and the whole approach also struck me as too loosey-goosey and unclear.

Jolly Phonics was truly a game-changer for us. It was the laser beam that focused the entire process into something that was still very much in the Montessori spirit, but actually doable and even enjoyable! The results have been astounding.

Hannah was the primary beneficiary of Jolly Phonics since I was actually teaching only her, but Jonah loved it and followed along voluntarily, so although he is not even 4 yet he can now read at a green series level, and he is spelling pink series words with the movable alphabet with ease. Even Sophia (2 years old) has been absorbing some of it - she knows several of the sounds and likes doing the actions, and this morning she surprised me when she was looking though the Jolly Phonics story book and said "er for mixer" and pointed at the "er" sound - I guess she can read it! 

I am still amazed at how effective this program is. Now that we are finished the seven Jolly Phonics books, I find that we have progressed all the way through the Montessori pink, blue and green levels in a very painless way. What's more, I am now better able to effectively use Montessori materials to further hone our newly learned skills. We are using the movable alphabet to practice spelling out words, and I use phonics materials from the Montessori Print Shop to give the children practice and review opportunities. We are also moving on to read simple books.

Essential gear:

• Jolly Phonics Teacher Manual (Phonics Handbook) - Good, though not essential tool for the homeschooling parent. This manual explains the method, lays it all out in easy daily lessons for introducing the sounds, and includes a ton of photocopy materials. I used it a lot. The usefulness of this manual is limited after all the sounds are introduced - Montessori printables, the movable alphabet and simple readers are a great continuation for further practising and developing the skills that have been learned with Jolly Phonics. NOTE: Make sure you get the Print Letters version - that's the American English version. The Pre-Cursive Letters version is British English, and there are a couple of subtle but important differences.
• Jolly Phonics Workbooks - I liked these a lot. They are black-and-white, no stickers or frills, but very good exercises and lots of fun. Later I got the Activity Books, thinking they were an improvement since they were newer, but I discovered that I liked these no-frills Workbooks better after all. 
  
• Jolly Phonics Songbook with CD - We love this CD and enjoy listening to it in the car. Every sound has its own catchy little song. Great for reinforcing the learning of phonics sounds. The songs are sung by children with a British accent, but we have not found that to be a problem.

Some nice additional materials:

• Jolly Phonics DVD - Note that this DVD has an "American English" option! We only discovered that after we listened to a few of the chapters in British English first.
• Jolly Phonics Finger Phonics Big Books - My children love these books, maybe because they are so special since they are the biggest books we have at home. They are beautiful and Hannah especially has pored over them many times, which surely helped her learn her sounds. We got the big ones by mistake (though I think it ended up a good buy) but they also have a normal-sized version of these books.
• Jolly Phonics Story Book - Hannah and Jonah love this and it has been another way to reinforce the sounds. Aside from stories about the familiar characters Inky, Bee and Snake, it also includes words to read and sound out for every sound.
• Jolly Phonics Wall Friezes - these are very good but big. They are meant for a classroom, and they are sized for a large space. We ended up putting these in our upstairs hallway. Sometimes the children look at them - but not sure I would buy these again.
• Jolly Phonics Activity Books - I didn't like these as much as the Workbooks. For one thing, the Workbooks are much easier to photocopy and use with multiple children, since they are only black-and-white and no stickers. These Activity Books must be bought separately for each child, since they are full colour and totally consumable with lots of stickers. I found I am not a big fan of those stickers that never fully stick, and then come flying out of the book or sticking on to other pages (or they just might be used by the children somewhere outside of the book, and then what will you do when you need them for your in-book activity?). I also find that these books are too busy and all the activity and color might detract from actual learning of the sounds. 

Photo credit: Lea Singh, All Rights Reserved. For permission to use, please contact me.